Abuja – Some men in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) on Friday said the feministic movement promoting equal rights should give men the right to demand for alimony after a failed marriage.
The men, who spoke in Abuja, said women empowerment should come with some responsibilities and consequences.
Alimony, also known as spousal support, is a legal obligation on an individual to provide financial support to his or her spouse after divorce or marital separation. Dr Bode Timothy, a marriage counsellor and psychologist, told NAN that men normally do not request for alimony because of the possibility of being scrutinised by society. “Responsible men cherish their ego and refuse to be viewed by people as weak individuals, so they avoid ever having to depend on women for any reason. “However, with the current clamour for equal rights, current feministic movement and shift in the traditional gender roles; I am not surprised that more men are asking for alimony. “Many men measure their success by their ability to provide for themselves and the people that depend on them.
“This feeling makes men view spousal support after a divorce as emasculating, and that is why we hardly hear of this payment being made to men by women,’’ Timothy said. Casper Brown, a travel agent, said that he was in full support of men receiving alimony since women had decided to fill the spaces originally designed for men. “Since women have decided to physically prove that they can carry out masculine roles better than men, I think they should also carry out the financial obligations. “I cannot ask a woman for spousal support but if a man married a woman that earns more than he does, he should demand for alimony if the marriage fails,” Brown said.
Tobi Adeleke, an estate surveyor, told NAN that he felt that society treated Nigerian men unfairly and it was time for men to ignore those pressures. “Society makes us believe that women can be lazy and all they have to do is get married to a successful man who would take care of her worries. “Meanwhile, men are forced to get good jobs as there will be nothing for them to fall back on if they fail. “We watch divorces happen in some countries where the man has to leave his house for the woman and unfairly share his hard-earned money with the woman he no longer loves. “If he doesn’t share the money, he is made to pay the woman alimony for the rest of her life. “Why can’t the woman go and get a job or do something as an independent woman?’’ Adeleke said. He said in this age of women empowerment and equal rights, women who earned more than their husbands should start paying alimony in the event of marriage break up. However, Joseph Ezu, a primary school teacher, was of the opinion that men who received spousal support automatically lose their respect. “I understand that men are trying to get back at the unfair societal treatment they have received in comparison to women. “Obviously, it is clear and fair that if women are going to take up the good parts of playing a male role they should also take up the bad parts too. “However, I feel that a man losses his pride and respect once takes up spousal support from his wife. “I don’t think respectable men should get involved in such a mess,” Ezu said. (NAN)